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Don’t Ask

March 6, 2010

I hate going to parties: when people find out I’m a vegetarian and/or a professor of religion, people start asking the weirdest questions.

Last night, I got these:

  • Is it possible to look forward to eating if you don’t eat meat? (Answer: No, we donate our taste buds to people who eat real food.)
  • What do you think of the idea of personal religion? (Answer: To get into that I’d have to give you two or three hour-long lectures on modernism and capitalist ideology. Neither of us want that, do we?)
  • Isn’t it cool how God is bigger than religion? You know, it’s the whole universe, right? (Answer: How much have you had to drink?)
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2 Comments leave one →
  1. Beelzebub permalink
    March 7, 2010 2:24 am

    I’m a recent convert to vegetarianism, or a kind of partial vegetarianism, anyway. When I’m at my grandparents’ house, I’ll eat meat, because it’s likely to be all I’ll get (or, rather, my grandpa has drilled into my head so many times that “if you don’t like what you’re given, you might not get anything next time,” that I just can’t say no when I’m with them). So that means I eat meat about once every week or two. And I have to say, before doing this, I really had not realized at all just how good plants taste. There’s so much more flavor in them than in any dead animal I’ve ever eaten.

    The proper response to the question “is it possible to look forward to eating if you don’t eat meat?” should be “is it possible to look forward to pooping if you eat meat?” though that would likely ruffle a few feathers that shouldn’t necessarily be ruffled.

  2. bellim permalink
    March 8, 2010 5:03 am

    Beelzebub – what I do in that sort of situation is try to bring in something vegan and delicious to eat, so (a) I have yummy food and (b) the other people are jealous. You should try it, unless your grandparents would throw a total fit.

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